I have been to hell and back over the years. After experiencing childhood abuse, I lived through a succession of traumas with my family including fraud, painful experiences in church ministry, a death threat, and a catastrophic house fire accidentally started by my mother-in-law. While I was helped by counseling, prayer, and caring friends and mentors, something was still missing. I needed to process all that pain and loss but didn’t know how. I had to learn how to grieve. Over years of rebuilding, I’ve lived the lessons of lament and know the healing that is possible when pain is metabolized.
I wrote
Hopeful Lament: Tending Our Grief Through Spiritual Practices
This book has helped me see a clearer path toward healing and wholeness. It has also allowed me to cultivate more compassion for the trauma in my own and my loved ones’ stories.
Her question, ‘What does safety feel like in your body?’ hit like a lightning bolt. I realized I had no idea. Her authenticity about her own experience of trauma made her a trustworthy guide in finding that and other answers.
The exercises paired with each chapter are practical and profound, resources I return to regularly.
When it comes to difficult circumstances, we've all heard the platitudes: "No pain, no gain." "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But if we spend our lives trying to be "the strong one," we become exhausted, burned-out, and disconnected from our truest God-given selves.
What if it were different? Could there be a different way to be strong? Could strength mean more than pushing on and pushing through pain, bearing every heavy burden on our own? What if, instead, true strength were more like the tide: soft and bold,…
I discovered Cole Arthur Riley through her breath prayers and curated wisdom around liberation through her Black Liturgies account on Instagram. Her words in this book are poetry and good medicine for my soul.
Her story of learning to love her physical body as she lives with chronic pain is wise and freeing. I didn’t know how much I needed her wise reimagining of the story of the garden, the fall, and what it means to find home.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • In her stunning debut, the creator of Black Liturgies weaves stories from three generations of her family alongside contemplative reflections to discover the “necessary rituals” that connect us with our belonging, dignity, and liberation.
“This is the kind of book that makes you different when you’re done.”—Ashley C. Ford, New York Times bestselling author of Somebody’s Daughter
“Reaches deep beneath the surface of words unspoken, wounds unhealed, and secrets untempered to break them open in order for fresh light to break through.”—Morgan Jerkins, New York Times bestselling author of This Will Be My Undoing and…
When Lara was four years old, her father moved from Rochester, New York, to Anchorage, Alaska, a distance of over 4,000 miles. She spent her childhood chasing after him, flying a quarter of the way around the world to tug at the hem of his jacket.
Like Opelt, I believed I was well equipped to grieve well before suffering found me. Like her, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Her book was solace because it refused to shy away from the complexity and sometimes downright strangeness of grief. Her exploration of historical rituals for processing grief in community sparked my imagination for more ways of restoring lost practices and finding new ones for engaging loss, remembering well, and honoring life with those I love.
When Amanda Held Opelt suffered a season of loss-including three miscarriages and the unexpected death of her sister, New York Times bestselling writer Rachel Held Evans-she was confronted with sorrow she didn't know to how face. Opelt struggled to process her grief and accept the reality of the pain in the world. She also wrestled with some unexpectedly difficult questions: What does it mean to truly grieve and to grieve well? Why is it so hard to move on? Why didn't my faith prepare me for this kind of pain? And what am I supposed to do now?
I love that Rah calls lament prophetic because it shines a light on the hard realities of pain or injustice. I needed to hear lament described as a conversation that happens best in communities hoping to be heard and helped by the Divine.
Rah is a professor and pastor, allowing him to bring intellectual rigor and empathy to his work. The book was born of a teaching series whose goal was to make room for stories of struggle instead of focusing, as American evangelicals typically do, on success and positivity.
This book traces through the songs of lament that make up the Book of Lamentations and honors the fact that sometimes laments end in minor key since they refuse to bury, bypass, or force a happy ending.
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When Soong-Chan Rah planted an urban church in Cambridge, Massachusetts, his first full sermon series was a six-week exposition of the book of Lamentations. Preaching on an obscure, depressing Old Testament book was probably not the most seeker-sensitive way to launch a church. But it shaped their community with a radically countercultural perspective.
The American church avoids lament. But lament is a missing, essential component of Christian faith. Lament recognizes struggles and suffering, that the world is not as it…
Everything in nature evolves by trial, error, and success—from fundamental physics, through evolution in biology, to how people learn, think, and decide.
This book presents a way of thinking and realistic knowledge that our formal education shuns. Stepping beyond this ignorance, the book shows how to deal with and even…
KJ’s voice is so clear, compelling, and kind that I found myself fighting the urge to highlight every other sentence. She writes that “the only wounds that become weapons are the wounds that are not tended with care.” Which strikes me as very trustworthy and good news.
Her description of abuse is one of the clearest I’ve ever heard: “At its core, abuse is about using a person rather than encountering them as someone to love.” Bringing her insight as a therapist and her experience with chronic illness and spiritual abuse, Ramsey’s words are a good roadmap to me for how harm can happen and a guide to how healing becomes possible.
Walking through Psalm 23 phrase by phrase, therapist and author K.J. Ramsey explores the landscape of our fear, trauma, and faith. When she stepped through her own wilderness of spiritual abuse and religious trauma, K.J. discovered that courage is not the absence of anxiety but the practice of trusting we will be held and loved no matter what.
How can we cultivate courage when fear overshadows our lives? How do we hear the Voice of Love when hate and harm shout loud? This book offers an honest path to finding that there is still a Good Shepherd who is always…
Lament is telling the truth about loss, pain, or injustice. It is an expression of love that trusts our pain, anger, doubt, and fear matter as much as our peace and happiness. Lament lets grief move through us so that it doesn’t stay stuck, causing more suffering over time. It refuses to bury pain or, just as dangerous, give in to despair.
Drawing from insights related to personal experience of a series of losses and upheavals, I offer a clear framework for expressing heartache. My book offers evocative reflection questions, embodied practices, and applications for families with children. Learn how to journey gently through suffering.
This memoir chronicles the lives of three generations of women with a passion for reading, writing, and travel. The story begins in 1992 in an unfinished attic in Brooklyn as the author reads a notebook written by her grandmother nearly 100 years earlier. This sets her on a 30-year search…
Bernard Marks and Martha Alford met by chance. The odds were long that they would hit it off. That wasn’t in the cards they’d been dealt at birth. But, as gamblers in love, they rolled the dice. And then they worked hard, took risks, caught lucky breaks, built satisfying careers,…
